~On the Heart~

Hey folks-
Just thought I would stop in and share whats on my heart. 

Life is not fair. 

oh- I guess you probably already knew that. 

yeah, I did too. 

But- sometimes, it just needs to be said. 

sometimes, I just need to hear it.

and then I need to hear it again.

And then I need to accept it...

Tonight- I watched a little girl crawling. 

I watched her fight and struggle to make her body work. 

I watched as her determination shined through. 

I watched her succeed and get to where she wanted to go-

 (right to her daddy to give him a sweet kiss) 

She is a little girl named Evie. 

 She crawled just like my Denalli.  

Tears of joy and sadness and laughter and desperation 

came out of me. 

I guess I have never seen someone move just like my Denalli- 

 and yet- 

I had never realized it. 

there are no words. 

there is about every emotion going on-

 but no words to explain it. 

And then I remember- 

Life is not fair... 

BUT 

God is GOOD. 

Even in the struggles I see in my daughter- 

I still see a GOOD God. 

His goodness does not change on my circumstances.

When my 3 "middle" children are running and jumping and playing like rowdy little kids- 

while Denalli is left to sit and watch- 

God is still GOOD and full of Grace. 

When other little girls Denalli's age run around with everyone else- 

while Denalli is left to sit and watch- 

God is STILL GOOD and FULL of Grace. 

No matter what circumstance this family is faced with- 

God will ALWAYS remain GOOD and full of Grace.

Sometimes (like right now) we (I) just need to hear it over and over again. 

This journey in life- 

it is tough. 

There are really good times and then there are hard times. 

I am not writing a pity blog. 

I do not need sympathy. 

I do not need pity. 

I just needed to state where I stand tonight. 

I am very weak, and I struggle. 

It is only by the Grace of God 

that I am able to walk down this journey we are on. 

No matter how strong you think I am-

I can guaranty you are seeing Gods strength, and not my own. 

God is doing amazing things in our lives 

and in the girls' lives right now. 

But the flip side of that- 

an intense spiritual battle. 

what's that? you don't believe in a spiritual battle?!? 

Start following God- 

and you will see there is a dark side who wants control.

This battle brings on nights like tonight-

where my heart just aches. 

I know I serve a good God. 

I know He is gracious, 

and I will leave my pain at His feet. 

-Thank you for your prayers- 

~One Blessed mommie~